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In a society that normalizes porn, even encourages others to watch it, it’s unsurprising that there are a lot of people out there who indulge in pornography. When you pair that with the fact that the dangers of looking at porn are pretty well-known, it’s pretty easy to just say that people who watch porn are the problem.

But the true problem is that it’s horribly unfair to judge someone based on their addictions. When you say that an entire person, someone who lives, breathes, eats, enjoys life, has hobbies, who has people who love them, is only equal to their addiction, all you’re doing is adding fuel to the fire.

Just because life is better, healthier, and happier without pornography and that it’s typically unhealthy to indulge in pornography, doesn’t mean that a viewer is evil or bad.

Before you go judging someone for their struggles with porn addiction, maybe you should ask is how they feel about their porn addiction? Are they ashamed? Unhappy? Still struggling to get out from under the weight of it? Are they doing anything to try and stop their unhealthy habits?

Simply by asking a few questions, you give validity to that person as a human being and help to fuel understanding rather than demonizing them.

Don’t Cast Aside, Accept!

When someone is already feeling on the outs due to their addiction to porn, shaming them can only push them further away, and lead them right back to acting out their addictive behaviors. They’re already struggling, or have already struggled in the past.

Chances are that they’re already experiencing some level of self-inflicted shame. It’s a vicious cycle that they’re trapped in.

But if we embrace our porn addicts for the wonderful people they are and encourage them to seek out new, healthy habits, we help them build a solid foundation for themselves. One that lets them know they don’t need porn to feel satisfied or happy.

Encouragement is so much better for someone struggling with addiction than shame.

Seek to Understand, Not Judge!

Dating can already be pretty complicated without a porn addiction. But if you refuse to even try to understand why someone might be partaking of pornography or what the circumstances were when they were first exposed to it, you only make things more difficult.

By addressing these issues with the person you’re dating and bringing the whole thing to light, you can only gain a better, truer understanding of them, and get to know more about them as a person in the process.

Someone’s reason for starting to watch and getting hooked on porn is totally different from person to person. When you choose to gain an understanding of what circumstances led them to their addiction, you choose to gain a better understanding of the person you’re dating.

Too many stories about porn addiction start out with these beautiful, passionate, funny, wonderful, amazing people who are abused, hurt, used, and tossed away. They are left feeling that porn is their only solace, and withdraw from society.

These people are people who are worth getting to know. And their willingness and determination – their choice – to get better and form real relationships only makes them all the better.

What You Can Expect.

If you say that you’ll never date a porn addict, you’re saying that you want to miss out on meeting some truly amazing, wonderful people just because they were human enough to struggle with a problem.

It can be nerve-wracking at times, given that pornography is an ever-present problem that won’t be going away anytime soon. But the fact that it’s that available only ups the chances that you either will meet or already know someone who is or has struggled with porn addiction.

But to say that you don’t even want to know them or understand them is just a prettier way of saying that you’re okay with dehumanizing them. It also tells them that they aren’t deserving of love.

While having open and honest conversations about porn addiction can lead to sometimes awkward or upsetting situations, the fact is that it encourages people struggling with porn addictions to seek help and get better.

And the funny thing is, it might encourage you to find love where you least expect it.